Dream

Dreaming is crucial . There should be a separate class or way that should be inculcated in the classroom syllabus . If you cant dream , there is no way it can be achieved .

In my small way , I did got the chance to dream and all thanks to my mother . She was a dreamer . Although she came from  a below average family and lively hood was not easy , she still had the courage to dream big . When I say big , its in context to the level of living she had and when you compare , her dreams were really big .

Its also true that your senses start working in the same direction , direction of your dream .

I came to know of the power to dream , a bit late , but its magical and it works

Event That has Passed

Wonderful lyrics and song from the legend Frank Sinatra 
Its so true in life . When the event happens , we have a set mind and all decision is taken in that state . 
And when you sit relaxed days and years after , the whole event is so clear in mind with multiple options on how that should have been handled .

I know there were a hundred ways to tell her I loved her
It's funny how they're all so clear today
And when her face was burning with sadness and yearning
I don't know why I turned my eyes away
But it's so easy looking at the game the morning after
Adding up the kisses and the laughter
Knowing how you'd play it if the chance to play it over ever came
But then, a Monday morning quarterback never lost a game
The room was so alive with all her feelings and longings
I saw the spark of danger in her eyes
Well, how would it have hurt me if I'd turned back and held her?
A moment passes, something lovely dies
But it's so easy looking at the game the morning after
Adding up the kisses and the laughter
Knowing how you'd play it if the chance to play it over ever came
But then, a Monday morning quarterback never lost a game
Yes, it's easier to win it when you know you'd never play it quite the same

But then, this Monday morning quarterback never lost a game

The Legend : Frank Sinatra : That's Life

 

Few things you listen , view and get late in life and then you think ....why so late

 

That's life , that's what all the people say

You're riding high in April, shot down in May

But I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm back on top, back on top in June

I said, that's life , and as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks, stompin' on a dream

But I don't let it, let it get me down

'Cause this fine old world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king

I've been up and down and over and out, and I know one thing

Each time I find myself flat on my face

I pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life , I tell ya, I can't deny it

I thought of quitting, baby

But my heart just ain't gonna buy it

And if I didn't think it was worth one single try

I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

That's life , that's life and I can't deny it

Many times I thought of cutting out but my heart won't buy it

But if there's nothing shaking come this here July

I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die

Time After Time

Time after time,
I tell myself that I'm
So lucky to be loving you,
So lucky to be
The one you long to see
In the evening when the day is through

I only know what I know,
The passing years will show
You've kept my love so young, so new;
And time after time,
You'll hear me say that I'm

So lucky to be loving you 

Nail Polish

I just developed a new fashion

of painting my nails

And for this I have a all new designer

She is qualified and knows her skill well

She is non other than my daughter

3.5 years of age :)

गुब्बारे

बच्चों को लगते जो प्यारे
वो कहलाते हैं गुब्बारे 

गलियों, बाज़ारों, ठेलों में 
गुब्बारे बिकते मेलों में 
काले, लाल, बैंगनी, पीले
कुछ हैं हरे, बसन्ती, नीले

पापा थैली भर कर लाते 
जन्म-दिवस पर इन्हें सजाते
गलियों, बाजारों, ठेलों में 
गुब्बारे बिकते मेलों में 

फूँक मार कर इन्हें फुलाओ
हाथों में ले इन्हें झुलाओ 
सजे हुए हैं कुछ दुकान में 
कुछ उड़ते हैं आसमान में

मोहक छवि लगती है प्यारी 

गुब्बारों की महिमा न्यारी  

Last Ball Attitude

I am not a hyper cricket enthusiast nor I am a diehard cricket fan . But given a chance , I do watch matches in bits and pieces .
But I love M S DHONI . 

Not because he is from Jharkhand , but for who he is .
His calm , but thoughtful approach on the field has been exceptional . I have not seen anyone like him . His unconventional and out of nowhere decisions at critical moments . His generosity and support for team members , all have been exceptional .
And above all his last ball attitude , his will and effort to win even at the last ball , remarkable .
He never accepted defeat till the last ball was bowled .
In my life time , I have never seen a player like him .
I strongly feel facts and figures are by-product of your actions and Dhoni will always be an exception .

There has been a lot to learn from him and its true that he can never retire,  aspiring we Indians .

Office Bag

My office bag generally has a diary , pen , my id card and my laptop . 
My daughter prepared the bag for me today which had her toys , wooden alphabets , her slipper and Jayanti's slipper . 
I am not sure how to use these items in office now  :)  

Made for Each Other

 
If I get married , I want to be very married .

This quote has been apt for my parents . They lived an everlasting and loving married life . Like you see in movies , Made for each other type .

After spending almost 42 years together, when a partner leaves , it would be a struggle for survival again . Looking out ways and reason to exist . It’s not easy and I could see that fight in my father everyday . They were complete together , but now the other side of the chair is empty .

He has tried and planned his day , but I do understand that we don’t even fill the void ....it would be empty ...always

Earlier he used to sing for my mother ...even now he sings ...but for heaven 

Joy

Well you've heard about love givin' sight to the blind
My baby's lovin' cause the sun to shine
She's my sweet little thing, she's my pride and joy
She's my sweet little baby, I'm her little lover boy

Yeah I love my baby, my heart and soul
Love like ours won't never grow old
She's my sweet little thing, she's my pride and joy
She's my sweet little baby, I'm her little lover boy

Well I love my baby like the finest wine
Stick with her until the end of time
She's my sweet little thing, she's my pride and joy

She's my sweet little baby, I'm her little lover boy 

Loving My Present

Pure and true happiness means having a kid . Its an experience and feeling which is beyond and above everything . 

I am not sure my daughter feels the same or will feel the same in the future for me , but this is the best moment for me . I love being with her . Seems  nothing more is needed and you don't expect anything else from anyone now . 

All love I have , its all for her . 

She became goddess Kali for me today :) 

Best Chef

I am a self motivated man when it comes to cooking . I keep telling everyone that I cook well . Specially when it comes to nonveg and street foods , I am the best . 

With this notion in mind , I made potato chips for my daughter . It was the easiest recipe for me and I was certain that she would love it . 

She had the first bit and then rejected the whole plate . She didn't liked it at all , it was a complete disaster . 

A recipe has no soul , you as a cook must bring soul to the recipe .  

Color's Of Life

Close your eyes , I kiss you

tomorrow I miss you

you know I will always love you

Forever

Playing with dolls and colors

floor full of vibrant odor

I wonder where was this all

creeped out with just one girl

She is my life , she is my darling

she knows I love her and I really mean

There is no one like her another

She is non other than my daughter

I can spend hours gazing her

I can spend days talking with her

Its difficult to make out what she says

but leave it ..all sounds so angle made

Dream Doesn't Need Eyes

We all dream . Its a powerful tool to be be what you want to be be . I think everyone dreams . Even a blind person dream . Dreaming doesn't need eyes . I am not sure what visuals a blind person see or what is the form of the dream of a blind , but I am sure dream is the same for them as well . A dream seen with open eyes and the one which doesn't let you sleep is the dream which is sure to be materialized and achieved .

I wonder how people strive for something which would materialize after 5-10 years . May be there dream has all the minute details needed to achieve them . 

Unlearning Words

Learning and Unlearning is part of life .

There was a time when Maa was a favorite word for me . It was used on a daily basis 100 of times . Life changed when Maa left in 2008 , the frequency of this word almost came down by 99% . The word also carried a heavy weight and feeling since it came directly from the heart .

I hardly use this word now . One person for whom I used this word , left for final journey today . Seems this word "Maa"  is dead now .  Even if its used , the feel will never be the same .

Like Charges Repel, Unlike Charges Attract

The way this universe is created , is magnificent .

The beauty of our existence lies in the different characteristics we all posses . 

I was just thinking of equality and space in relationships...and we all have been talking of it  . 

But the question remains : is it needed to keep the spark . The answer can be in the below fact : 

Like charges repel, unlike charges attract

Two electrons will tend to repel each other because both have a negative electrical charge. Two protons will also tend to repel each other because they both have a positive charge. On the other hand, electrons and protons will be attracted to each other because of their unlike charges. Also the farther away they are from each other, the less force their electric fields have on each other. Similarly, the closer they are to each other, the more force they will experience from each other due to this invisible force field called an electric field.

The learning is ON ..........

Happy Birthday Maa

Dear Maa,
15th July .
happy birthday. Although I always miss you, the endless joy you have brought to my life still brings warmth to my heart. On your birthday , my wish is for you to be happy wherever you are right now.

Photograph

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

CRY

Cry because You are alive
Cry because you are connected
Cry because you are moved
Cry because you are impacted
Cry because something within you is touched & moved  .

I never felt its a show of weekness or its being too emotional .
If the saying is ...fools cry ....its good to be a fool .
Its always special and tears come only when the deepest string within is touched .

Love Me Like You'll Never See Me Again

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was I everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I've been looking for

I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted
The time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day here's not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again

How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it?
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
And you're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I've been looking for

She is Awake

sweet sweet baru
my little bawl of jadu
running singing all around
she knows the trick now
when papa would be in mood to accept
her twinkle twinkle demand

Days are off when she sleeps
10 minutes early , be ready
the storm is about to creep
see ...she is awake and bright
will set everything , everywhere , right

Being Silly Is Good At Times

I am in my forties , doing most of the serious work which generally a guy in my age does .

I used to love and sing ghazals and meaningful serous songs of Mohd Rafi , Mehandi Hasan . I also loved classical music of Rashid khan , Bhimsen Joshi , Girija Devi .

But there is still some part which is too silly and abnormal and I keep doing every moment now .

• I sing daddy finger , daddy finger

• I sing johny jonhy yes papa

• I sing 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed

• I sing barish barish jao na

Seems so silly & childish  , but to my surprise , I love rhyming this with my 3 year old daughter Baru

I somehow feel Baru is very close to my mother , in the sense her act were too at times , un-realistic , un-reasonable and un-logical .

And ....Life should be meant for this ,

Happy Family

This picture says it all . All family memories are the best times that we spent together . We are close nit family . God gave me all of them.

When a family begins to mature, that potential loss of connection, that feeling of something changing, is difficult to confront. And then comes the idea of feeling connected , it becomes very reinforcing, to all of us, and it contributes to happiness and base for survival . After all we are build up of our memories and if its sunny , happy and bright , life becomes a bit easy .

Happy Anniversary

Today , 11th May 1971 , the day when you both got married .

It is because of your love and respect for each other , that we have been able to live with so much harmony. To parents who I love so dearly, wish you both a happy anniversary Maa Papa .

My Chunku Turned 3

To my dear little one, I can’t believe you have turned 3 today .

Happy Birthday my baby

You may be a kid, but you affected so many lives already. You are our little angel who always turn a bad day to a day full of sunshine. Your laugh is infectious! I hope you will continue spreading good cheers to loved ones around you as you grow old. Have a wonderful birthday My Chunku .

Love is in the Root

Papa always used to tell me that the cause for all conflict and unacceptance is lack of love .

It never entered my mind till the time I was blessed with Baru , my daughter .

She will be 3 in next few days and at this stage I put my best to convince her & behave my way  .

I ask her to wait for my work to get over , I ask her not to pour water on me , I ask her not to over feed the plants , I ask her to sleep when I feel sleepy . AT times it becomes unbearable .

The outcome is straight way : rejection from her . She will 100% go her own way which is exactly opposite of what I say and request .

Then , Why have I become flexible and have huge level of patience for her now . My acceptance for her is unmatched and when I go beneath , one thing which makes me feel and accept all her act , whether I like it or not : Has been LOVE for HER

Papa was true , with pure love comes acceptance and patience . Seems I learned the moral a bit late in life :)

Chikan kurti for Baru

Work from Home

Everyone is working from home now . I have also started doing so and my 3-year-old daughter sits next to me with his own set of gadgets doing WFH .

Not sure what she delivers , but her contribution towards the nation is unmatched .

कैसे हुआ

हसता रहता हूँ
तुझसे मिलकर क्यूँ आजकल
बदले बदले हैं
मेरे तेवर क्यूँ आजकल

आखें मेरी हर जगह
ढूंढे तुझे बेवजह
ये मैं हूँ या कोई और है
मेरी तरह..
कैसे हुआ..
तू इतना ज़रूरी कैसे हुआ

मैं बारिश की बोली
समझता नहीं था
हवाओं से मैं यूँ
उलझता नहीं था..

है सीने में दिल भी
कहाँ थी मुझे ये खबर

कहीं पे हो रातें
कहीं पे सवेरा
आवारगी ही रही साथ मेरे
ठहर जा ठहर जा ये कहती है तेरी नज़र

क्या हाल हो गया है
ये मेरा..

Happy Holi

This Holi was special . My daughter will be 3 next month and she has her likes and dislikes now . She was hyper on Holi day . Early morning she was out in balcony with colours and there was no one to stop her . With the level of excitement she had , I too got into the mode and it was after a long long time that I felt happy about Holi .

Baru Lessons for Papa

My daughter will be turning 3 next month . But at this tender age , she is already my teacher and mentor .

The most important has been to say what you want to and don’t be afraid to say no. She does this much better than most of the adult would ever do .

She also lets all the emotions out and she is damn good in this .

She has a whole different way to look at life , all small things are big things for her .

I have just started learning , and it’s a long way to go .

Happy to be fooled

I and papa went to Chawri Baazar , Delhi today . We had a box of cards to be picked .

I was able to manage a rickshaw . The guy was a decent simple man , the hardship of life was visible on the face .He demanded for 60 rupees and I agreed instantly .

I decided to walk rather than sit on the rickshaw as the route is very narrow and there is too much of traffic . I walked and reached my car 10 minutes before the rickshaw reached . The guy helped me place the box in my car and I offered him notes of 50 + 20 INR as I was not having 10 rupees change .

He replied , he doesn’t have change .

Due to his old and transparent shirt , a 10 rupees note was visible from the upper right side pocket .

Now , it was for me to decide ,  should I ask him to bring the 10 rupees and return or allow him to keep 10 rupees extra .

It was not ethical on his side , does he needed this 10 rupees more than me  , was this amount so big for him or should I leave it on emotional term . Or “Was I fooled “

As usual , I was prompt , I accepted being Happily Fooled

Bounce Back in Life Is Important

My brother Aman always says that my risk taking appetite is exorbitantly high .

Even at work , I do the same thing .

Everyday once I am back home , I think , is he right .

Do I take too much of risk in life . Is my though on how to plan future is wrong .

Is my mantra of " Plan your today " wrong ?  

So when I think of Risk , my first question to myself is " what is that I control in life "

And to my surprise , the answer is " Nothing "

There is someone else who controls and manages my life . Then how come there is risk in what I do and decide .  

I still feel , there is just a need to plan "Today" and go behind your dream , even if that seems too risky .

Let Go Off

At times it `feels the happiest people on are those who have learned the art of "letting things go off "
I try to hold off my past too tight and every day once I am out for office and drive , it all starts with my days almost 30 years back till 2008 . It feels as if the life before 2008 and after has been a new birth for me and may be for all back home , my sisters and my papa .
The reason has been my mother who left in 2008 . I too understand that this has not happened to me alone and also aware that this is not the end . It will happen again and will happen to everyone .
But somehow I never learned the art of letting things go off .
Theory sounds good to me and I do agree , but am still not a follower of " Letting things go off "

SugarCane

My daughter loves sugarcane like I do . She is mad about it although she is still small .
So its my task to get the exact frame ready for her to pick and chew .
The small pieces of sugarcane is kept well placed and she will pick one and chew .
I am the apt guy for this activity ...and she knows that

Inevitable

This is the time : 9:45 PM IST and day , around 12 years back when I received the call with the news that Maa is no more with me .

Life has changed and so has been for my sisters and papa .

Why to be so surprised about . Its tough , but people who know the trust about death seems calmer and more contaminated .

I should understand and accept that anyone around including me can leave this body anytime and there is no indication or invitation for the same .

Today in Ashram , as usual , my prayer goes out for Maa and her wellbeing . Wherever she has been , just pray for her happiness .

Happy New Year Maa

I know you are at a place much better than mine 

Happy New Year Maa