Emotional Fool

It is the mind which creates the world around us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours, my heart will never stir to the emotions with which yours is touched.

So is being emotional ...a foolish act or thought

Hmmm

Being emotional means that I am showing I truly care about something deep down. It means that I have put value into that experience and some part of it affected me greatly.

For me few things have always been emotional and when it gets touched, its difficult for me to control.

Writing on this page is one way to let it come out . But I do agree that one has to control his/her emotion to lead a happy life , this space doesn’t sees the way you do ....may be its good  .

Watches

I am found of watches . I do have a small collection . Bauji also has few watches and in his watch box , which he has kept , there are close to 3-4 watches of MAA .

Every time the battery discharges , Bauji informs me and we get that replaced .

He also has a strange habit of making sure that all the watches of Maa too is in running condition . I have not single a single watch of Maa which has stopped even after she left me 6 years back .

Dont know why bauji does this or what feels are attached , but every time he takes out the box to wear a watch , I can see all the watches in running condition , specially that of Maa .

I do feel material things have amazing power of connecting people and still hold the feeling when the other person has left .

Rajnighandha

"Rajnighandha"...is a film based on Amol Palaker and Vidya Sinha .. its a Trauma of a girl who is confused on whom to choose as life partner . It also shows a lot of inner churn to finally come to a conclusion that the present is the most important thing . Past is past .

The theme song "Rajnighandha" is another fantastic song . I love this song and the reason being Maa. She had a habit of humming whenever this song was played . Even now I am able to feel her humming and presence when I hear this Song .

"Bandhan" ..no one likes this word , specially today when we talk about space , identity , individuality.

But if you see the integral meaning ..its so pure and full of love .

4th February

4th Feb : VasanthPanchami
4th Feb : Maa was cremated
I was just left with some ashes ...and a life to be in ..Without her

Kyun Main Jaagoon

This song always remind me of the 3rd day of my realization that I have lost my mother . 5th Feb 2008, my world was shaken , totally destroyed ...with no idea what NEXT

It was difficult to understand that I would not see nor hear her voice any more .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN1m7zLBbSU

Being Lonely

Tomorrow is my marriage anniversary .I and Jayanti got married in 2006 , so this is going to be our 8th Anniversary .

But more than being excited about this day , I am back in the case with the same cycle of events which went through in 2008 .

I will again lose my mother after 8 days from today . As 2nd Feb is coming nearer , my fear grows .

Strange , but i do see her leaving every year during this phase of the year .

The mood across would be the same , Babidi , Momi and Nanhi ...all would be in the same mood .

No idea till when I will see Maa leaving me alone ...every year .  

I am not alone but lonely without you Maa

Molli

Yesterday , there was a move being telecast on MGM channel "Molli"

Its a fact based comedy about a man who has to take care of his sister when she is released from an institution. The autistic sister undergoes a new medical treatment that not only cures her but turns her into a genius.

Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and verbal and non-verbal communication, and by restricted, repetitive or stereotyped behavior.

Since it was a English move , I had almost no interest , till Jayanti told me about the character Molli , a girl with some unusual mind .

Jayanti also narrated one line which just got stuck in my mind .

"People don’t say what they feel , and what they don’t feel , they keep saying "

Perfect observation and thought . Its too difficult although , I myself feel I too fall under this bracket of human being . May be this is the reason why we purely convey and receive through brain .

If you see through heart, Molli was not ailing from disorder, we do .But this universe is strange and so do we .