Priority

I have no clue how there is so close bond between my sisters and me . I know myself, but they know me more. I trust myself, but they trust me more and I love myself, but they love me more. If you see my act for them , there is nothing special I do for them . A call or a visit , but the love they have and I have for them is unaffected and unchanged . Feel always remains the same . There are times I have visited them once a month or even traveled to Kolkata once a year , but I know I am always at the back of their mind and soul . Even with all this , they know they are my priority , how they conclude this .....Sorry ...NO Clue :(

BAAT KARNI MUJHE MUSHKIL

Papa loves Ghazal and few of Mehandi Hasan ghazals are his favorite  . Few ghazals of Bahadur Shah Zafar are incredible and one of them is Baat Karni .

Few lines from this ghazal where the Shahanshah seems lonely :

बात करनी मुझे मुश्किल कभी ऐसी तो न थी
जैसी अब है तेरी महफ़िल कभी ऐसी तो न थी,

ले गया छीन के कौन आज तेरा सब्र-ओ-करार
बेक़रारी तुझे ए दिल कभी ऐसी तो न थी,

चश्म-ए-क़ातिल मेरी दुश्मन थी हमेशा लेकिन
जैसे अब हो गई क़ातिल कभी ऐसी तो न थी,

उनकी आँखों ने खुदा जाने किया क्या जादू
के तबीयत मेरी माइल कभी ऐसी तो न थी,

अक्स-ए-रुख-ए-यार ने किस से है तुझे चमकाया
ताब तुझ में माह-ए-कामिल कभी ऐसी तो न थी,

क्या सबब तू जो बिगड़ता है ज़फर से हर बार
खू तेरी हूर-ए-शमाइल कभी ऐसी तो न थी.

Chill : Take life Easy

I am a person who loves heavy topics , all about life and people  . I do love people and few people around me whom I love , mean all to me .I feel lucky to have them as they know and accept me the way I am . They also know , that I live in the past . I aspire for the future , live my present , but if you ask me what I liked the most ...all will be from my past ...8 -15 years back . I know I sound dull , my topics are heavy , emotional and may be too boring at times , but this is what I am . I have no issues in listening to someone , what ever area it may be . To add , the worst part is I am not ready to change . I know my past troubles me , specially about Maa , being away from my sisters etc etc and I do understand that things should be taken lightly , but still my strength lies in what I had .If I leave the way i survive ..."with my past in the heart" ...i would probably become extinct .

But I won’t repeat ...making people sick with my heavy topics :)

Is it a Crime

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. – Michael Leunig

With what ever I have seen and experienced in life , I have learned that circumstances don’t have to define a relationship and that love grows even in the darkest places and at most odd situations .

For me , love can even be when we fight together . We know how to disagree with each other without causing irreparable damage to the other person. In other words you don't threaten to breakup or walk out just to get your way.

Its also about feeling safe , ie "a soft place to fall".  If you can't feel safe to be you and to express yourself in your relationship, you're probably not feeling true love. I am not sure what and which act can nurture love .

Most important , accept each other as you are. Is there any need to judge the person you're with and cant see them as a unique individual with their own characteristics . I seriously doubt , when to love when whole time goes in judgment .

There is big question mark on the whole act of love and affection and lack of trust as if someone has done a crime ...its painful .