Photo Frame

Its more than 14 years now since maa left us . I just have one single frame of her at home and that too in the drawing room .
Last month , papa expressed his desire to have a picture of maa in his room .
It was strange for me since he generally shows he has moved on and has accepted the fact that death is an integral part of human journey .
So my younger sister got a picture framed for him and yesterday the picture was placed on the newly installed rack .
Papa has also made sure that its visible from his bed .
Life has changed for all of us since maa has left , and it doesn’t seems it can be normal in our life time .

Its a space which is empty , intentionally .

Baru turned 5

 

13th April , my daughter birthday . She turned 5 this year . 

Cakes, gifts, balloons, friends, and family were the best part of her birthday party . 

Sending all the good wishes and blessings to her on this big day. 

Tu Kaha

जुड़ ना पाये बाद तेरे

टुकड़े दिल के रखूं क्या

याद तेरी कोई बात नहीं

लफ़्ज़ों में मैं लिखूं क्या

छाओ थी तेरे साथ की

बे रेहम धुप में

दीवानावार फिरूं

खोके अपना सायबान

तू मेहरम ना रहा मेरा

तू मेहरम ना रहा

चुप ने ऐसी बात कही

ख़ामोशी में सुन बैठे

जन्मों जो ना बीत सके

हम वो अँधेरे चुन बैठे

कितनी करूँ मैं इल्तिजा

साथ की चाँद से

दिल भरके आहे थक गया

फिर भी ना रो पाये हम

मैं सुन रहा था

सुन रहा था सभी

तू सुन सका ना

सुन सका ना कभी

उलझी सब ख्वाहिशों में

लफ़्ज़ों की बारिशों में

दिल का मकान ना रहा

Tears

I love the musical show The Voice .
The reason has been the exceptional format and outburst of emotions from the loved once on the show when ever there is a trigger .
What an expression formulated by GOD , tears
You are sad or happy it comes out , but it comes only when the feel is intense in both the cases .
For me , its such a powerful tool of expression , what else to show once love and affection or sadness .
Now , Baru has always been a trigger for me . She is so affectionate and means world to me .

Her smile and touch makes all the difference .

3rd Feb : A day in Mortuary

The day when Maa was all alone in the mortuary .

Without her favorite bed and soft pillow and bedsheet . 

And above all , without we all .

while leaving for hospital , she was sure of coming back in 30 minutes , but divine had other plans . 

This would be perhaps her first night without we all ... all alone . 

When I reached the site , my first though was how she would have managed to sleep without a pillow , she never did . 

Tearful Farewell

My friends and relatives talk about mourning as if the sense of loss grows smaller or more manageable over time, but I’m not so sure. Maa left me today . And there is a strange feeling every year on this day . I start my day as if she is alive and will leave me exactly late in the evening at 10:15 PM . The gaping hole left by my mother’s loss can actually feel like it’s getting larger every year . 

तेरे जाने के बाद

सूना घर लगता है, लगता है सूना आँगन,

माँ तेरे जाने के बाद।

पलक बिछाए मेरा इंतजार अब कौन करेगा,

माँ तेरे जाने के बाद।

मन के भावों को चेहरे पर,

तुम बिना बताए पढ लेती थी।

छोटी-बडी सभी उलझनों को,

तुम झट से सुलझाया करती थी।

पोंछ पसीने को आँचल से,

स्नेह भरी पुचकार अब कौन करेगा,

माँ तेरे जाने के बाद।