Can parents be more Responsible

DIVORCE  is a horrible word. There is no way to make the word sound better or make its effects less painful. According to the Webster’s Dictionary, divorce is "the legal dissolution of marriage or the termination of an existing relationship or union"

Its really painful for being punished when you are not guilty .

Getting married to a person who has seen her parents fighting has sever affect on her own marriage . The person is not in a situation to even think that every individual is different  .

But one party is in pain only because the other half has been formed with past experiences , which were not so good .

When children observe their parents fighting and out of control, they feel more vulnerable and on shaky ground. As a result, the world appears threatening and less safe to the child. He might become anxious, depression, develop low self-esteem or grow into a fearful adult.

Parents who fight send their children a message that intimacy can bring pain and turmoil. Although they also see their parents being loving with each other, their explosive fights often leaves them upset. As a result, child might develop trust issues and avoid developing intimate relationships to protect himself from being hurt.

Since this issue has touched me soo much , I also thought of reading few latest researches on them . Research on the inter generational transmission of divorce has demonstrated that, compared to offspring of non-divorced parents, those of divorced parents generally have more negative attitudes towards marriage as an institution and are less optimistic about the feasibility of a long-lasting, healthy marriage. It is also possible that, when entering marriage themselves, adults whose parents divorced have less personal relationship commitment to their own marriages and less confidence in their own ability to maintain a happy marriage with their spouse.

Parental divorce may also undermine offspring’s perceived ability to attain a happy, lasting marriage. Many young adults from divorced families report a general belief that couples do not have the ability to overcome marital conflicts, as well as apprehension about repeating their parents’ mistakes and a belief that their hypothetical future relationships are likely to fail.

Papa thought On Maa

In his latest note on Maa , papa has written how much he misses her everyday , each moment . I am uploading his note without his consent ...very sorry bauji

Lord Siva

The day was going normal  , at 12 noon got a call from my cousin ...my badi maa left for the heavenly abode .

I and papa reached and then the cremation. Shamshan ghat is actually the place where if you sit for 2 hours with inner self ....you will go mad .. this world , these actions ...all thoughts keeps on coming .

I started crying for the body which was left back . She was 83 , all the growth which the soul does is backed and supported by body ...aur wo bechara peeche hi rah jata hai ...very heart touching

And then papa was moved by the Shiva temple inside the premises . And he told me that ...Shiva is the only god who can be present in the cremation ground and also on kedarnath .. amazing god ....through out the life , Shiva is the god who stays with us .

The Mother has paid homage to the BODY of Sriaurobindo and that’s engraved on the samadhi ....its

“To Thee who hast been the material envelope of our Master, to Thee our infinite gratitude. Before Thee who hast done so much for us, who hast worked, struggled, suffered, hoped, endured so much, before Thee who hast willed all, attempted all, prepared, achieved all for us, before Thee we bow down and implore that we may never forget, even for a moment, all we owe to Thee.”

Situation that haunt you for life

Yesterday Jayanti's Nanijee passed away . It was a heart mourning situation for all of us . Since my father in law is with me due to his bad health , my mother in law is alone in the village near kanpur where this tragedy occurred .

I heard this news at 7 PM and was immediately ready to leave for Kanpur , wanted to stand with her at this hour . But nature had some other plan . The weather was so bad in and around kanpur that there is hardly any way you can reach the village . Maa too asked me not to come since she knew it was not easy to reach .

It’s so heartbreaking, when she needed our support the most, we all have left her alone to handle this tough situation .

Life is so unpredictable and circumstances beyond our control . You again feel ……is there anything I can plan and execute  ????

I would always regret that I never got the last change to be there for Nanijee's final journey .

LOVE

Life is too short for us to keep important words, for example, ‘I love you’, locked in our hearts.
But do not always expect to hear the same words back. We love because we need to love. Otherwise, love loses all meaning and the sun ceases to shine.
A rose dreams of enjoying the company of bees, but none appears. The sun asks:
‘Aren’t you tired of waiting?’
‘Yes,’ answers the rose, ‘but if I close my petals, I will wither and die.’
And yet, even when Love does not appear, we remain open to its presence. Sometimes, when loneliness seems about to crush everything, the only way to resist is to keep on loving.
Our one true choice is to plunge into the mystery of that uncontrollable force.
Then we discover, when we go home, that someone was there waiting for us, looking for the same thing we were looking for and experiencing the same anxieties and longings.
Because love is like the water that is transformed into a cloud: it’s lifted up into the heavens, where it can see everything from a distance, aware that, one day, it will have to return to earth.
Because love is like the cloud that is transformed into rain: it is drawn down to the earth, where it waters the fields.
Love is only a word, until we decide to let it possess us with all its force.
Love is only a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning.
Don’t give up. Remember, it’s always the last key on the keyring that opens the door.

By : Paulo Coelho

One Year Has Passed Without Jhumi

21st June was the 1st death anniversary of Jhumi .She finally decided to leave us all on this day , a year back .

She was always an amazing family member . Always full of love and energy. No complains, and so close to Maa and Nanahi

We all including Nanhi and Momi were at my place on that day . 

If you can hear us baby ...we all miss you every moment. Your sparkling eyes , your innovative funny ideas to grab laddos , your lick on my nose , your early morning knock on the door to come to my room, your fight to be with me and jayanti on my bed ....all has just ended on the very day you decided to leave us alone

Will pray ...tum har jamam humko hi milo Jhumi .

SHAYAD......

Today morning , while driving for office , was listening to Jagjit Singh's ghazal . The theme of the song was Shayad

It touched me so much . Life always has 2 sides to it , success failure , darkness light , Joy  sadness , day night . And this hope is the key to life . There are few things which we all know can never happen , but still there is hope …may be it happens .

Would like to quote few lines of the ghazal which has so many colors

Phir ussi raah guzar per ..shayad
hum kabhi mil sake magar ...shayad 

jaan pahchan se kya hoga
phir bhi aaye dost gaur kare ....shayad

muntazir ( intezar )  jinke hum rahe unko
mil gaye aur humsafar ....shayad

jo bhi bhichde hain kab mile hain faraz ( Shayar )
phir bhi intezaar kare ...shayad