लगता नहीं है दिल मेरा,उजडे दयार में

Papa was singing this ghazal today morning . very emotional and I always feel he deeply misses Maa , but then few things are always within , and wrapped in heart . 

लगता नहीं है दिल मेरा,उजडे दयार में
किस की बनी है आलम-ए-नापायेदार में

कहे दो इन हसरतों से, कहीं और जा बसे
इतनी जगेह कहाँ है, दिल-ए-दाग़दार में
उमर-ए-दराज़ मांग के,लाये थे चार दिन
दो आरज़ू में कट गये, दो इंतेज़ार में
इतना है बद-नसीब ज़फ़र,दफ़्न के लिये
दो गज़ ज़मीन भी न मिली,कोए यार में
लगता नहीं है दिल मेरा,उजडे दयार में

Life is Empty

She was 55 when she left me alone . Maa was an amazing person . Her initial days were not so good . She was 3rd in the family of 4 brother and 2 sisters . From beginning she was studious and pure .

I don’t know exactly , but when she was 18- 19 , she got married . Came to Bokaro from Gaya and here as well her initial days were not so good . Papa was supporting her brothers back home . With the limited resource , she managed the whole house . Even when we grew up , we were always on priority for her  . Many a times I used to ask her , why you don’t do anything for yourself , with no desire .

Reply used to be : will do when I am done with all my responsibilities .

That day never came . Papa retired and she just started living her life on her terms free like a bird  , she was called by the divine . So there was nothing we did nor as responsibility or as favor or for happiness . She came on earth may be to settle us and then went back . We all are empty blank and clueless on why she decided to leave us alone so early.

I miss you maa every day , every moment .