Baru Has Grown

Baru will be turning 7 next year . She has a lot of stories to be said , some real and some imaginary . Fortunately I have been her best fried and there is lot of quality time we spend together . I have also realised that she knows me better than anyone else even at this age .

I have seen her growing and that’s probably the best time of my life .

Failed As a Son

A old picture from the album . Maa seems so happy and excited . 
I failed as a son . I always thing I was not able to provide the happiness which my sisters gave . 
They were much connected and concerned towards the feelings Maa had for us . 
I missed that opportunity and its not a good feeling at all . This feeling will die with me . 
There were times when she needed me the most , but somehow, I was not so bothered nor ever thought that the implications would be so deep . 
Now when I am serious , she is no more . 
This is my side of the story . Maa always though I was the best son on this planet . 
May be all mother think the same way . They don't have an insight or idea on when a son fails . 
She was simple & divine , but I missed the opportunity to service . 

My sisters were much more concerned , connected and intelligent ....they delivered ON TIME .

Sacrifices of My Sisters

I wont call is struggle , but we have lived a life in constricted condition and budget .

Things were not easily available . And for my sisters , things were more tough since most of the resources were inclined towards me . But there support for me was from day 1..unconditional and pure  . I do not remember a single day when they would have showed there denial in what was done for me . Its a blessing that I have got sisters like Babi , Momi and Nanhi .

School , dress , expenses ...every thing was done with inclination towards me by my parents , specially my Maa .

But they have always showered their love and blessings for me . They have also stood by me in good and bad times ...always.

I will always own them and there is nothing which can suffix there sacrifices.

Smallest of the thing I am doing is their gift for me and I will always own them for this . 

तुम्हारी याद

मुझे वह समय याद है -
जब धूप का एक टुकड़ा सूरज की उंगली थाम कर
अंधेरे का मेला देखता उस भीड़ में खो गया।

सोचती हूँ: सहम और सूनेपन का एक नाता है
मैं इसकी कुछ नहीं लगती
पर इस छोटे बच्चे ने मेरा हाथ थाम लिया।

तुम कहीं नहीं मिलते
हाथ को छू रहा है एक नन्हा सा गर्म श्वास
न हाथ से बहलता है न हाथ को छोड़ता है।

अंधेरे का कोई पार नही
मेले के शोर में भी खामोशी का आलम है

और तुम्हारी याद इस तरह जैसे धूप का एक टुकड़ा।

I Can Fly - You said

Where did my wings go?
I could've sworn I could fly
Straight up into the sky
Boy, I should have known
It was all just a lie
No one on earth can fly

Thought the things you said would turn out true
Guess that's what I get for trusting you
You said if I believed enough, I would fly
Why didn't I?

Did faith let me down
Or did I not have enough?
That distinction is tough
Still, I thought your hands
Protected me from the fall
Did you mean that at all?

Thought the things you said would turn out true
Was it even you I listened to?
I thought if I believed enough, that I would fly

Air is rushing past, and I can barely see
Seems like this fall will be the death of me
In a second now, the ground will come to take me home

Suddenly, a peace that I cannot explain
Feels like the wind is running through my veins
Oh, and all that I can do is close my eyes as you lift me up
You lift me up

All that I know now is sky and cloud
Don't know when my feet last touched the ground

You said if I believed enough, I would fly

Past & Present

Its such a powerful thing "DREAM"
It has all the potential to deliver on past and future as well .
Of course for you , it would be definitely only for future .
But for your loved ones , it can even deliver there past dreams , through you as a source
Its so contiguous and that’s the reason I love it .
Small small things which is still a dream , its wonderful to fulfil loved ones dreams .

In a sense , its like providing " relive life "

Beauty of Imperfection

A thought came to my mind today morning : is imperfection evil in relationship .
Who is perfect and what will he achieve
And the answer which came to my mind was that imperfection is a great thing .
It keeps the relationship alive and spicy .
Due to this , there is always scope for surprises , good or bad .
what could a live be without a roller coaster ride .
May be that’s also the reason why everyone says that its good to accept someone the way he or she is .
This also directs to another area of focus : you have a desire that some day , he or she would be perfect Again a great thought : lot of scope for surprises.

Maa : Hold Me Like You Used To

Can you feel that cold coming in?

That old familiar sting
When you know they're gone
But you still hold on to the little things
Mama always told me that the ones that leave
They look down on us in golden wings
I wanna believe it
Tell me, do you believe it?

When we lose the ones we love
I was getting used to, used to
Having you with me, so why you gotta leave?
Just hold me like you used to, used to
Are you looking from above?
I didn't want to lose you, lose you
So why you gotta leave? I need you here with me
Just hold me like you used to, used to