Time Is Relative : Good Bye 2018

Its the last post of this year .It doesn't matter how much our lives are governed by the same seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks, regardless of where we live on the globe, time will never be absolute. The rate at which it passes depends entirely on your speed and acceleration at any given moment.
Life is governed by Time , we are all waiting for the right time to come or bad time to pass .
But who will decide how soon or how late this should happen . Its we alone since the experiment with time changes for us and us alone . Lets hope that the comming year brings with it lots of joy and happiness and blessings for all of us . Wish you all a very happy new 2019

 

Messy & Untidy Home

Before my daughter was born , my home used to be a neat and tidy home . All rooms were well managed and clean with things at their place with almost no movement for months . Floor were clean, walls were neat , kitchen was tidy and we had hardly any activity to do other than normal daily routine work  . 

But from the day Baru is born , its up side down . Everyone is on toes , nothing is at its  place now . You may take days to find items like scissor nail cutter or comb . Its on her discretion , if she remembers , she will handover or else its your luck . 

So in one word , my home has became messy and untidy , but my life has became bright and shiny . 

बोल तोता बोल

हरे रंग का एक-एक ‘पर’,
लाल चोंच है कितनी सुंदर,
लाल फूल की माला दी है-
किसने तुझे अमोल?
बोल तोता!बोल।

कौन कला का शिक्षक तेरा,
जिसने रंग गले पर फेरा,
किस विद्यालय में तू पढ़ता?
मौन न रह मुँह खोल।
बोल तोता! बोल।

साथी मुझे बनाना आता,
‘सीता-राम’ पढ़ाना आता,
और किसी से प्रेम करेगा?
यह दुनिया है गोल।
बोल तोता! बोल।

मुझको भी उड़ना सिखला दे,
पके ‘कलाधर’ सुफल खिला दे,
दिया करूँगा मैं भी क्षण-क्षण,
कानों में मधु घोल।
बोल तोता! बोल।

My LOVE

Unreasonable , Unconditional , Illogical , Unrealistic , all these words have been very opt for my mother , she was one of those who kept life and love purely from soul… zero calculation  ....hardly any brain involved . 
My daughter Baru is exactly the same , she is just 20 months old and knows her papa better than anyone else . 

I think daughters are like this ....

She may outgrow my lap , but she can never outgrow my heart . 

Thank You god ...your blessings were always there , with Baru ...you completed it .

LOCK SCREEN

My daughter is just 1 N 1/2 years . She is the most beautiful act of god towards me .At this age itself , she is damn fascinated about mobile , laptop and gadgets . But the most beautiful act of her has been when she is on laptop and her favourite screen is the LOCK SCREEN 

The reason has been my picture on it and she doesn’t want her papa picture to be moved or changed . 

Even at this age, I could sense her love and affection for me . I feel so lucky to have her in my life and I try to make sure every day that she knows that I love her so much. 

Return Gift

My daughter first birthday was on 13th April . We thought of going for a return gift . I hardly remember my birthday being celebrated, may be once or twice and that to with a return gift ...never .

Return gifts are a good way to show care and concern to those who have attended our event. It is also a generous gesture to show casing our love and acts as a memory for them that they visited the event. We finally decided to give a handmade camel toy from a old age home.

Past...Present...Future

So what is the most import aspect of life . Definitely its the "Present " .

Past and future , both are derived from the Present .

Past is good to look at and future is supposed to be good only if things are executed well at present . I have never ben a fan of too much planning . Not sure whether it gets executed or not or god has some other plan . So its always better to live the present with full zeal and energy . There are times when future seems blur or dark , but does that matter atall ....

Its still future , lets focus on present . The most pity state is that of all these , non is in our hand . Its good to be a puppet of GOD … knowingly  .

All the world’s a stage

William Shakespeare once said "All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances "

This is well planned and managed by the divine .

I therefore always feel that the most important aspect is the present. Neither future nor past should govern us , it should be solely governed by the present .

Asthi Visarjan

After my daughter has born, too long to decide , but finally I have decided to submerge the relics of my mother in ganga which i have been carrying from past 10 years . I never had that guts to emotionally release the relics as I was never prepared . Baru has given me that strength to do so .

I have finally concluded that Maa is much more than what I have hold physically of her .

The certainty of death and the uncertainty of the hour of death is a source of grief throughout our life.     

Its Another END

I came back early from office on 23rd Oct 2018  as one of my close neighbour passed away . It was a sad demise  and I was back to square one on my all-time curious phenomenon "Death "

With energy almost drained out,  was sitting with papa in his room and suddenly papa said a word which hit me : There is no definition of life yet
And he was very true . He has written in his daily dairy as well but i was blank ...how do you define life , what makes a life and why death is always sudden

किसका मज़ार था

शम्म-ए-मज़ार थी ना कोई सोगवार था,
तुम जिस पे रो रहे थे वो किसका मज़ार था ।

तड़पूँगा उम्र भर दिल-ए-मर्हुम के लिये,
कम्बख़्त नामुराद लड़कपन का यार था ।

जादू है या तिलिस्म तुम्हारी ज़ुबान में,
तुम झूठ कह रहे थे मुझे ऐतबार था ।

क्या क्या हमारे सज़दे की रूसवाईयाँ हुई,
नक़्श-ए-क़दम किसी का सरे रह-गुज़ार था ।

The VOID

There is always a time in a day when I miss maa to a extend that its too hard to believe that she is no more physically . I feel like talking to her , sharing few simple thoughts , laugh on non laughable statements , become a bit emotional .
Life is never the same again once you lose your maa , its a void which is of the same intensity after 10 years as it was on THE DAY .
Miss you Maa , Love you maa . You Left me too early with absolutely no backup .

Happy Birthday Momi Di

Today is my sister’s birthday. Momi di has always been a fighter and leader . She was the only one at home with whom i was a bit scared . In the past 20 years she has changed a lot . She is a new person with lots of patience which was rare in her .  We celebrated her birthday in a restaurant in Gurgaon today. Although I never really enjoyed sharing my things with her ,I have always enjoyed sharing our childhood and love for each other and she has been special . Happy birthday .

My Life's Gift in a Box

उठ मेरी बेटी सुबह हो गई

पेड़ों के झुनझुने,
बजने लगे;
लुढ़कती आ रही है
सूरज की लाल गेंद।
उठ मेरी बेटी सुबह हो गई।

तूने जो छोड़े थे,
गैस के गुब्बारे,
तारे अब दिखाई नहीं देते,
(जाने कितने ऊपर चले गए)
चांद देख, अब गिरा, अब गिरा,
उठ मेरी बेटी सुबह हो गई।

तूने थपकियां देकर,
जिन गुड्डे-गुड्डियों को सुला दिया था,
टीले, मुंहरंगे आंख मलते हुए बैठे हैं,
गुड्डे की ज़रवारी टोपी
उलटी नीचे पड़ी है, छोटी तलैया
वह देखो उड़ी जा रही है चूनर
तेरी गुड़िया की, झिलमिल नदी
उठ मेरी बेटी सुबह हो गई।

तेरे साथ थककर
सोई थी जो तेरी सहेली हवा,
जाने किस झरने में नहा के आ गई है,
गीले हाथों से छू रही है तेरी तस्वीरों की किताब,
देख तो, कितना रंग फैल गया

उठ, घंटियों की आवाज धीमी होती जा रही है
दूसरी गली में मुड़ने लग गया है बूढ़ा आसमान,
अभी भी दिखाई दे रहे हैं उसकी लाठी में बंधे
रंग बिरंगे गुब्बारे, कागज़ पन्नी की हवा चर्खियां,
लाल हरी ऐनकें, दफ्ती के रंगीन भोंपू,
उठ मेरी बेटी, आवाज दे, सुबह हो गई।

My Baru As Radha

Baru & Her Papa

There is this girl who stole my heart & life and she calls me PAPA

मौत से ठन गई

We have lost the most human , admired and inspirational leader of our time , Sri Atal Bihari Vajpai .

It feels as if my family member has departed . 

ठन गई!
मौत से ठन गई!

जूझने का मेरा इरादा न था,
मोड़ पर मिलेंगे इसका वादा न था,

रास्ता रोक कर वह खड़ी हो गई,
यूं लगा जिंदगी से बड़ी हो गई।

मौत की उमर क्या है? दो पल भी नहीं,
जिंदगी सिलसिला, आज कल की नहीं।

मैं जी भर जिया, मैं मन से मरूं,
लौटकर आऊंगा, कूच से क्यों डरूं?

तू दबे पांव, चोरी-छिपे से न आ,
सामने वार कर फिर मुझे आजमा।

मौत से बेखबर, जिंदगी का सफ़र,
शाम हर सुरमई, रात बंसी का स्वर।

बात ऐसी नहीं कि कोई ग़म ही नहीं,
दर्द अपने-पराए कुछ कम भी नहीं।

प्यार इतना परायों से मुझको मिला,
न अपनों से बाक़ी हैं कोई गिला।

हर चुनौती से दो हाथ मैंने किए,
आंधियों में जलाए हैं बुझते दिए।

आज झकझोरता तेज़ तूफ़ान है,
नाव भंवरों की बांहों में मेहमान है।

पार पाने का क़ायम मगर हौसला,
देख तेवर तूफ़ां का, तेवरी तन गई।

मौत से ठन गई।

Happy Birthday Maa

Today is 15th July and its my mothers birthday . She was never sure of this date and she even though it to be some day in September . But we always celebrated it on 15th July . 

Missing you my dearest maa …Today is truly filled with memories of happiness and tears and of birthday celebrations that we have shared all throughout the years, happy birthday .

बक्सों में यादें

बक्सों में बन्द हैं यादें
हर कपडा़ एक याद है
जिसे तुम्हारे हाथों ने तह किया था
धोबी ने धोते समय इनको रगडा़ था
पीटा था
मैल कट गया पर ये न कटीं
यह और अन्दर चलीं गईं
हम ने निर्मम होकर इन्हें उतार दिया
इन्होंने कुछ नहीं कहा
पर हर बार
ये हमारा कुछ अंश ले गईं
जिसे हम जान न सके
त्वचा से इनका जो सम्बन्ध है वह रक्त तक है
रक्त का सारा उबाल इन्होंने सहा है
इन्हें खोलकर देखो
इन में हमारे ख़ून की ख़ुशबू ज़रूर होगी
अभी ये मौन हैं
पर इन की एक एक परत में जो मन छिपा है
वह हमारे जाने के बाद बोलेगा
यादें आदमी के बीत जाने के बाद ही बोलती हैं
बक्सों में बन्द रहने दो इन्हें
जब पूरी फ़ुर्सत हो तब देखना
इन का वार्तालाप बडा़ ईष्यालु है
कुछ और नहीं करने देगा

Exercise

Baru , my baby taught me how to exercise . She also tought me how to swim without water , how to dance without a tune and how to smile without any reason .

Jealous

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind
'Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me
I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love

Life Is Fine

I am HAPPY . I know I am responsible for everything that happens to me . Time has changed and so am I . I am also ready to accept now that  "Life is not fair. It never was and will never be" . Life has changed . It has changed since I know people will leave . Its destiny or just a moment , not sure , but its better to learn to live with it .
Its also important to learn how to pretend like everything is fine in life . Accept that people are always in there original self when you are of no value to them and their lives .
Keep smiling and live the moment , since its only for YOU 

Intention

Normally when we discuss intention, it’s about our internal directive . Whether that is being more loving, maintaining balance in our lives etc , its alays  easy to understand our own objectives. But what about when it comes to others?

For instance, what about the driver who cuts you off in traffic? Do you believe they’re being aggressive? Or the person who repeatedly kicks the back of your seat in a movie theater or airplane? Are they being deliberately annoying?

How we interpret another’s intention actually reveals more about ourselves than them. The stories we fabricate of what we’re observing, can be subtle but rampant. Yet this is the cognitive energy we lug around when we unconsciously follow these unexplored guesses that usually result in lashing, negative and superficial judgments.

We get what we believe. When we constantly evaluate people’s motives as being corrupt, immoral, or purposely ignorant that is the truth that comes to us because, most of the time, we’re projecting a conclusion.

Without proper communication, it’s rare that we truly understand what has happened in someone’s decision making process and until we know that, we operate on pure speculation for who they are and why they do what they do.

When we pause to observe our thoughts, we have the power to change them by cultivating the possibility for something more expansive and compassionate to develop.

Maybe the driver is in a panic to get home to an emergency? Perhaps the fidgety chair-kicker is stressed out about pending news that could drastically affect their life.

These small moments are the kernels that seed our larger belief system to covet opinions of separation or allow us to live in harmony from the inside, out.

Happy Birthday Baru

13th April was a specil day for me . My daughter Baru Turned 1 .
It was a special day! It was the day , I first saw and fell in love with her , my not-so-little bundle of joy
I can’t believe how much she has grown, seemingly right before my very eyes! She is already one years old, where did the time go? Wishing her all the happines in life , most beautiful baby I’ve ever known .

फूल खिले शाखों पे नए और दर्द पुराने याद आये

भूली बिसरी चांद उम्मीदें, चंद फ़साने याद आये

तुम याद आये और तुम्हारे साथ ज़माने याद आये

दिल का चमन शादाब था फिर भी ख़ाक सी उडती रहती थी

कैसे ज़माने ग़म-ए-जानां तेरे बहाने याद आये

ठंडी सर्द हवा के झोंके आग लगा कर छोड़ गए

फूल खिले शाखों पे नए और दर्द पुराने याद आये

हंसने वालों से डरते थे, छुप छुप कर रो लेते थे

गहरी - गहरी सोच में डूबे दो दीवाने याद आये

My Baru @ Work

Baru working on law of universal gravitation . 

And Finally she was able to crack it :) 

You never said goodbye

You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye.
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why.

A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill.

It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.

एक तुझ सा न दूसरा देखा

हमने दुनिया में आके क्या देखा
देखा जो कुछ सो ख़्वाब-सा देखा

है तो इन्सान ख़ाक का पुतला
लेकिन पानी का बुल-बुला देखा

ख़ूब देखा जहाँ के ख़ूबाँ को
एक तुझ सा न दूसरा देखा

एक दम पर हवा न बाँध हबाब
दम को दम भर में याँ हवा देखा

न हुये तेरी ख़ाक-ए-पा हम ने
ख़ाक में आप को मिला देखा

अब न दीजे "ज़फ़र" किसी को दिल
कि जिसे देखा बेवफ़ा देखा

रोने ना दिया

इश्क़ में ग़ैरत ए जज़्बात ने रोने ना दिया
वर्ना क्या बात थी किस बात ने रोने ना दिया
आप कहते थे के रोने से ना बदलेंगे नसीब
उम्र भर आप की इस बात ने रोने ना दिया
रोने वालों से कह दो उनका भी रोना रोलें
जिन को मजबूरिय ए हालात ने रोने ना दिया
तुझ से मिलकर हमें रोना था बोहत रोना था
तंग ए वक़्त ए मुलाक़ात ने रोने ना दिया
एक दो रोज़ का सदमा हो तो रोलें "फ़ाकिर"
हैम को हर रोज़ के सदमात ने रोने ना दिया

तुम से क्या माँगू मैं

This is a wonderful & emotional lyrics by Prashun Joshi 

I very much co relate to what he has penned down . Every time i listen to this song , it takes me to a different world .

अर्ज़ियाँ सारी मैं चेहरे पे लिख के लाया हूँ
तुम से क्या माँगू मैं
तुम ख़ुद ही समझ लो
मौला मेरे मौला
दरारें-दरारें हैं माथे पे मौला
मरम्मत मुक़द्दर की कर दो मौला
मेरे मौला
तेरे दर पे झुका हूँ, मिटा हूँ, बना हूँ
मरम्मत मुक़द्दर की कर दो मौला

जो भी तेरे दर आया, झुकने जो सर आया
मस्तियाँ पिए सबको, झूमता नज़र आया
प्यास लेके आया था दरिया वो भर लाया
नूर की बारिश में भीगता सा तर आया

एक खुशबू आती थी, मैं भटकता जाता था
रेशमी सी माया थी, और मैं तकता जाता था
जब तेरी गली आया, सच तभी नज़र आया
मुझमें ही वो खुशबू थी, जिससे तूने मिलवाया
मौला मेरे मौला...

टूट के बिखरना मुझको ज़रूर आता है
वरना इबादत वाला शहूर आता है
सजदे में रहने दो, अब कहीं ना जाऊँगा
अब जो तुमने ठुकराया तो सँवर ना पाऊँगा

सर उठा के मैंने तो कितनी ख्वाहिशें की थी
कितने ख्वाब देखे थे, कितनी कोशिशें की थी
जब तू रूबरू आया, नज़रें ना मिला पाया
सर झुका के एक पल में मैंने क्या नहीं पाया

Its Only My Memory

Some memories are so painful to remember because they were beautiful, wonderful and extraordinary that it makes you cry every time you smile thinking about it because you’ll never be able to experience it again with that special person that once meant the world to you.
My mother was fond of snaps and pictures . As a reasult I have plenty of pictures and video .
I always enjoyed viewing them , but now they dont excit me , from the time maa left me 10 years back .

Fairy Maa

“Maa , you are a fairy,” I said. My mother laughed a loud and I said  “I am serious, Maa" .
You know everything.” “Beta , my soul is connected to you and so I know everything which you need . When you grow older, you will not need me,” she said.
“No, Mom, I will always need you. Nothing can change that,” I said.
Life has moved on since I lost my fairy Maa 10 years back and she was wrong about one thing ... I still need her .

Miracle

ये मौजेज़ा भी मुहब्बत कभी दिखाये मुझे
के संग तुझपे गिरे और ज़ख़्म आये मुझे

वो मेरा दोस्त है सारे जहाँ को है मालूम
दग़ा करे वो किसी से तो शर्म आये मुझे


वोही तो सबसे ज़ियादा है नुक्ता-चीं मेरा
जो मुस्कुरा के हमेशा गले लगाये मुझे

वो मेहरबाँ है तो इक़रार क्यूँ नहीं करता
वो बद-ग़ुमाँ है तो सौ बार आज़माये मुझे

मैं अपनी ज़ात में नीलाम हो रहा हूँ 'क़तील'
ग़म-ए-हयात से कह दो ख़रीद लाये मुझे

Happy New Year 2018